有些事情錯過會後悔一輩子：態度

為了努力就可以賺回來的學費而放棄去紐約念書的話會後悔一輩子；
因為睡眠不足而放棄去美國前的最後一場1976會後悔一輩子；
因為貪玩而沒有努力準備基金會的presentation的話會後悔一輩子；

所以我哪樣都不放棄。



今天是看過所有７６表演裡，最奮力嘶吼和搖擺的一晚。
也許是因為經濟不景氣，The Wall 居然從上個月開始，看表演的票根再也不能換免費飲料，這怎麼成？說甚麼都要自掏腰包買一支Corona加檸檬，再順便請一眼就被我識破一定喜歡76的Agnes一支Heineken。



我還是最喜歡態度，不同以往的是，現在這首歌讓我想到未來紐約的生活：

我還有心愛的人 一個搖滾樂隊 口袋裡還有一點錢
世界末日就是明天 這就是我的生活態度

雖然一個心愛的人和一個搖滾樂隊都還只是個計畫，但是一定要再世界末日來臨之前認真用力的達成才行。口袋裡"還有/剩一點錢"倒是精準預測未來。


ｉｎ　ｃｌｕｂｂｉｎｇ　ｗｅ　ｔｒｕｓｔ
ｉｎ　ｇｒｏｏｖｅ　ｗｅ　ｔｒｕｓｔ
ｉｎ　ｇｏｏｇｌｅ　ｗｅ　ｔｒｕｓｔ　
ｗｈａｔｅｖｅｒ　ｗｅ　ｔｒｕｓｔ
有天變成了被對抗的大人　也別忘記今晚
我們帶一群孩子闖進誰的殿堂　去撒泡尿　去撒撒野


我知道總該要長大，但仍舊期許自己永遠都會保有那麼一點孩子氣；就算是七老八十歲了，　也還懂得怎麼隨著重拍搖擺，並且享受隨著心臟一起東司東司的drum n bass以及和所有樂迷一起五音不全的嘶吼亂唱。




One last live concert of 1976: CHECKED.

我的公雞爸爸

如果這是一封手寫信，我一定會放在框裡裱起來，和那扇門的照片一起，掛在紐約房間的牆上。



小時候我都會覺得不公平，為什麼小禎爸爸都會送姊姊芭比娃娃，公雞爸爸都不送我。但是長大了我才發現，有些禮物比芭比娃娃更美好，比如說信任和愛。

Auwa!

Das ist ganz einfach, ein Mensch weh zu tun.
Du musst nur sagen, was du nimmer denkst.

"Warum sagst du nicht mit ihm? Der hat Geld." sagt er.
"Warum fragst du ihm nicht? Der hat sich schon vertragt, nicht so?" sagt sie.

Oje, warum ist mein Pate immer besser als meine Eltern? Das tut mir sehr weh. Auwa.


[photography by Emir Ozsahin]

One Straw Away

Yes, I'm one straw away from giving up this stupid idea. Yes, stupid is the word I just wrote.

Let's forget about the splendid words like "self-investment", "think about the bright future", or "tuition shouldn't be in the criteria when you choose the right school, but the quality of education". Well, if you don't have the capital, what makes you elligible to make any investment?

I've never thought about how many obstacles there can be-- judging from my college background, I thought the admission notice was the hardest ticket to get. As it turns out, that piece of congratulation letter is just the ticket to a world of even greater challenges-- compared to financial problems, getting admission from an art school was not even a piece of cake; it's possibly just a piece of cheap fruit on top of it.

It's easy to say "I can borrow money from the Ministry of Education." But how on earth would I know that even finding a garantor for a tiny amout that's gonna keep me alive for only 10 months in the Big Apple could be a problem? I thought I have him, my last hope. My picture in mind will be him living in an above the average apartment, with possibly two private parking spaces- one for him and the other for her. I don't really care if there's an unknow lady in the picture.

So being the president of a company means nothing, nor does having a long list of properties.
Things just can't be more difficult for me.


I know writing craps here wouldn't help much. Nor would bai-bai do any good.
I guess I just need a way to let it out.


Hopefully this is really the second last straw. Please.


[ photography by Brice Matson]