One Straw Away

Yes, I'm one straw away from giving up this stupid idea. Yes, stupid is the word I just wrote.

Let's forget about the splendid words like "self-investment", "think about the bright future", or "tuition shouldn't be in the criteria when you choose the right school, but the quality of education". Well, if you don't have the capital, what makes you elligible to make any investment?

I've never thought about how many obstacles there can be-- judging from my college background, I thought the admission notice was the hardest ticket to get. As it turns out, that piece of congratulation letter is just the ticket to a world of even greater challenges-- compared to financial problems, getting admission from an art school was not even a piece of cake; it's possibly just a piece of cheap fruit on top of it.

It's easy to say "I can borrow money from the Ministry of Education." But how on earth would I know that even finding a garantor for a tiny amout that's gonna keep me alive for only 10 months in the Big Apple could be a problem? I thought I have him, my last hope. My picture in mind will be him living in an above the average apartment, with possibly two private parking spaces- one for him and the other for her. I don't really care if there's an unknow lady in the picture.

So being the president of a company means nothing, nor does having a long list of properties.
Things just can't be more difficult for me.


I know writing craps here wouldn't help much. Nor would bai-bai do any good.
I guess I just need a way to let it out.


Hopefully this is really the second last straw. Please.


[ photography by Brice Matson]